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180 exists to help men who struggle with sexual addictions find healing through Jesus and His Holy Spirit and grow in a healthy relationship with God our Father. In order to recover from sexual brokenness we must confess our struggles with each other. While finding healing we must pray without judgment.

Daily Encouragement

Finding a time in your day to center yourself to God is vital to successful recover from sexual brokenness. Every day John Doyle writes an encouraging article to bring focus and encouragement. Each article contains harsh truths about addiction, God’s salvation and encouraging devotionals. Most of all, visit this page daily to fuel your journey of recovery.

Get Connected

Living the Christian life cannot be a life of isolation. We are too easily deceived by our flesh and the spiritual forces of evil. We are surrounded by a world that offers us destructive choices on the road to sexual brokenness. Consequently, the Christian life is a life lived in community. It is walking in the light as He is in the light. It is men helping themselves and others walk out a life of honesty, humility and accountability.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION?

Sex addiction is a method of medicating feelings and/or coping with stress to the degree that one’s sexual behavior becomes the major coping mechanism in their life. The individual often cannot stop the sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behaviors/fantasies or they have a binge of sexual behaviors.

WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME SEXUALLY ADDICTED?

This is different for every sex addict but generally speaking there are biological, psychological, and spiritual reasons. The following is a short explanation. The biological addict is someone who has conditioned their body to receive endorphins and enkephlines (brain chemicals) primarily through reinforcing a fantasy state with the ejaculation that sends these chemicals to the brain.

Psychologically, the need to medicate or escape physical, emotional or sexual abuse can demand a substance and the early addict finds the sex medicine usually before alcohol or drugs.

Spiritually, a person is filling up the God hole in them with their sexual addiction. The addiction is their spirituality; it comforts them, celebrates them and is always available and present. Then there is the sex addict who can a mix of two or even three of the above reasons. This is why a specialist in sex addiction is the best route for recovery from sex addiction.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX ADDICTION AND HIGH SEX DRIVE?

I have heard this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on over the years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It’s not about a fix for something; when their partner says “NO” it doesn’t make them go off the handle thinking their partner is totally rejecting them and have to leave the house or act out in some other way. If you can relate to the latter, chances are there may be an addiction issue.

CAN YOU BE ADDICTED TO MASTURBATION?

Yes. This is by far the most common sex addiction that I have treated in working with sex addiction. This usually is the first sexual behavior many of us will have on a repeated basis. This is usually where the sexual compulsion starts and this behavior, regardless of other acquired behaviors, usually stays active. This behavior usually starts early in adolescence while the brain is still developing.

CAN SOMEONE BE A SEX ADDICT AND NOT BE SEXUAL (OR INTIMATE) WITH THEIR SPOUSE OR COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP?

YES! We call this later stage of sex addiction- sexual anorexia. In this stage of sex addiction, the addict prefers the fantasy world and fantasy sex with themselves or others instead of relational sex with their spouse or partner. The addict/anorexic avoids relational sex and hence this couple has sex infrequently and often only at the non-addicted partner’s request.

WHAT ROLE DOES PORNOGRAPHY PLAY IN SEX ADDICTION?

For many sex addicts, pornography combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behavior. The pornography with accompanying fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs- hundreds of times before having sex with a real person.

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LIVE WITH A SEX ADDICT FROM A PARTNER’S OR WIFE’S PERSPECTIVE?

Partners or wives living with a sex addicts typically report common feelings, such as aloneness, the sense that the partner can’t open up and tell you about his “real” self. Confusion comes as a result of doing certain behaviors that are still not enough and hopelessness that there isn’t enough. Anger from many unmet needs, as a person and as a woman, are often common. Many of these issues are addressed in the following books and DVDs.

CAN PARTNERS GET HELP EVEN IF THE SEX ADDICT DOESN’T?

Yes. Even if the addict stays in denial of their addiction, the partner can receive help and support for herself. The feelings of anger, loss, loneliness and many other feelings encountered over the years of living with this addiction will affect a person. These feelings need to be dealt with therapeutically whether they stay married to the addict or not. If you would like a more information on a counseling appointment, call (000) 000-0000. As a partner or wife, the addiction is in no way your doing; the addiction started many years before you even met your addict. This addiction would have grown and damaged anyone they would have related to, in any relationship. You can subscribe to our Newsletter by visiting our _____.

IS THERE RESEARCH ON SEX ADDICTION AVAILABLE?

There is research being done in the field of sexual addiction. The monitored mail list of Heart to Heart Counseling centers provides weekly research information as well as excerpts from 101 Practical Exercises for sexual addiction recovery, as well as Twelve Step discussions. To subscribe go to our _____ page.

CAN WOMEN BE SEX ADDICTED?

Yes! The number of women desiring treatment is growing significantly. The behaviors are the same as their male counterparts, including: masturbation, pornography, internet activity, anonymous encounters and affairs. Over twenty recovering female sex addicts contributed in writing She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction. This book plus the Secret Solutions Workbook, with over 115 helpful techniques for recovery is just for her. If you would like to set up a counseling appointment to start your journey of recovery, call today. There is hope for female sex addicts for recovery.

IS THERE ANY OTHER WAY TO HELP OUR CHILDREN NOT BECOME SEXUALLY ADDICTED?

Yes! Even though many of our adult male clients report that their fathers were sex addicts (porn, affairs, prostitutes etc.), they also report getting little to no proper sexual information to balance their sexual perspective. We have created two DVDs addressing healthy sexuality for teens. Born for War teaches young men practical tools to defeat the sexual landmines their generation faces and offers scriptural truths to empower them to desire success in the war that is thrust upon them. Princes Take Longer Than Frogs helps single women ages 15-30 successfully navigate through the season of dating and how to distinguish between a Prince and a Frog.

ARE ADULT DATING SITES PART OF SEXUAL ADDICTION?

Many sex addicts desire anonymous encounters.  Sex addiction has flourished with the Internet and the anonymity it offers.  The altered state of grooming an anonymous person can be very addictive to a sexual addict so yes, these websites are used in some people’s sexual addiction.

NEXT STEPS

How to Confess Your Sex Addiction

by Rob Jackson, MS, LPC, LMHC, NCC

For most, confessing a personal issue is difficult. Here are some steps to guide you through the process. For most of us, confessing a personal issue is difficult. We have concerns for how others will respond – especially if our confessions pertain to some type of sexual sin committed against our spouses.

Perhaps the term “sex addict” doesn’t seem to apply to you or maybe the term is just simply too difficult to handle for the moment. Whichever the case may be, your confession of sexual sin is an important first step. After your disclosure, the severity of your sexual sin will need to be professionally evaluated and treated. As you consider how to break the news of your sexual sin to your spouse, here are some important considerations:

1. Examine your motivation. 

A healthy motivation is that you want a closer relationship with God, and that even if you were not married, you would continue to pursue sexual health and greater personal integrity. An unhealthy motivation is that you are angry at your spouse and use your sin with the intention of hurting him/her.

2. Resolve to tell the truth. 

The nature of sexual sin involves deception of self and others. Telling the truth from this point forward is critical. Since trust is the most damaged aspect of your relationship, you will need to work extremely hard to gain it back. Even small lies at this point can derail any future healing and reconciliation.

3. Your confession may include disclosing childhood sexual abuse that may have created a vulnerability to acting out sexually.

Understandably, your disclosure is not a time to shift blame, but statistically most sex addicts have sexual abuse in their pasts.

4. Look for tendencies in yourself towards secrecy, entitlement, and retaliation. 

These negative traits often coexist with sex addiction, and need to be owned and dealt with in prayer and counsel with others. Recognizing how you have done this in the past will help you to confess with greater openness and honesty.

5. Commit yourself to answering your spouse’s questions honestly. 

He or she will most likely need to know more once your initial disclosure has been offered. Your willingness to answer questions is one type of amends where your respect for his or her injuries is apparent.

6. Gather your facts by category.

Greater compassion will guide you so that your disclosure is not too specific. Most spouses don’t want the salacious details, but they actually need the specific categories of your involvement, e.g. magazines, videos, Internet, strip clubs, prostitutes, affairs, etc. If an affair has occurred with a friend or relative of your spouse, be sure to include this important fact.

7. Identify the resources that you and your spouse will need for healing and reconciliation.

Prepare beforehand some specific solutions that you can explain at the end of your confession. Resources may include books, tapes, support groups, and a pre-arranged appointment with a professional therapist. It is extremely important that you have already begun taking steps to address and correct the problem before telling your spouse.

8. Willfully acknowledge the gravity of your adultery and your spouse’s Biblical right to seek separation or divorce. 

Even virtual adultery committed online has the power to alter your spouse’s life. Meditate on the words of Christ where He equates lust with adultery, and confess accordingly.

9. Throughout your confession, stop and give your spouse time to take in your confession.

Accept his or her emotions as a largely involuntary reaction.

10. Freely initiate your specific apology. 

For example, “I feel badly for having hurt you with my sexual sin. I realize I can never fully know how badly I’ve hurt you by _______. I hope you can forgive me as I seek to rebuild your trust in

Recovery Guide

180 Recovery Guide is an approach to sexual addiction recovery based on the truth of the Bible. I have been in recovery for over 7 years and have helped hundreds of men in theirs. This is not a 12 Step approach … which has helped millions of people. It relies on the finished work of Christ on the Cross and the presence and power of the Spirit within the believer to transform us.

COMMUNITY

Daily Encouragement

Finding a time in your day to center yourself to God is vital to a successful recovery. Every day John Doyle writes an encouraging article to bring focus and encouragement. Each article contains harsh truths about addiction, God’s salvation and encouraging devotionals. Make it a habit to visit this page daily to fuel your journey of recovery.

Testimonies

Like Peter, we are all in this boat together. 180 is full of success stories of men and women finding freedom. Here are a few that people have written us. Please use this at great discretion and celebrate, as our brothers and sister have shared very personal moments of their lives. (FPO) 

Get Connected

Living the Christian life cannot be a life of isolation. We are too easily deceived by our flesh and the spiritual forces of evil. We are surrounded by a world that offers us destructive choices and we have already made bad choices our norm. The Christian life is a life lived in community. It is walking in the light as He is in the light. It is men helping themselves and others walk out a life of honesty, humility and accountability.

Helping people connect, recover and heal from sexual brokenness.

Pornography and sexual brokenness is one of the biggest problems not only in churches but in our world today. Please help us as we fight against this epidemic … we appreciate your donations and continued prayers.

Group Meetings
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Vineyard Columbus - 6000 Cooper Rd, Westerville, OH 43081